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Joy of All Who Sorrow

by Fingers Crossed

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1.
I’m a Skeptic - An evil genius holds your mind like a hostage - Is life a game that I'm inside - How can I know - There is nothing - Nothing concrete - More than a sign - Or do I find out when I die. God please bring me home - Sweet Jesus take the wheel - I'm swerving for the ditch - Show me now that you exist - We're all dying down here without you - Is this what were meant to do - Is this what it all means - Does it even mean a thing to you. I was at your door - cause all my loved ones had to die - I knocked for hours - bruised my fists - but I still couldn't get inside - I screamed and I cried - I kick and I fight - I’m lost so I called your name - no one came.
2.
Mastermind 02:11
Consider all these theses are calling - now consider the consequence - Imagine a green cube flying around - now imagine it exists - What does not exist. I think you're flawed, in whole you're missing. But I'm no mastermind logician. Count all your P's and Q's, and if's and then's, if and only if it's said sufficient for necessity the thesis that obviously is wrong. Some make the claim but waive the risk - Some pessimist inducted this - I wanna know how to be a better atheist - Devote my life to it then die alone and not be missed.
3.
There's a snake inside my head - his god damn voice inside is telling me it's time to sin again - There's an apple hanging from a tree - another voice outside that’s begging me to eat - But I'm still full - from indulging in myself - the bitter taste of blood still burning in my mouth - The apple tree should be felled - I'll carve a walking stick and climb my way outta hell. I can make excuses on my own - I don’t need you - I can create evil by myself - I don’t need help. So who am I - and what have I done - Am I their death if they seek too closely - am I all things to everyone - At all times - And in all places - I am the mask of apathy and indifference upon their faces - I'd like to change - make more of myself -But in the end what's more important - The gates of heaven or depth of hell - I'll flip a coin - I've been a man of luck -It's in my nature to turn the other cheek - I never gave a fuck - it's been a blessing - its been a curse -lets make a list of all our regrets - I guarantee I'll finish first. I think at times my mind can get to heavy - One day the earth will be consumed - God damn now that I'd like to see.
4.
Jawbreaker 01:41
I'm a jawbreaker in your microwave - and I'm ready to blow us all away. Something inside me says - you would like it if I just died - it never leaves - I'm not sure why. You're a felt jacket lined with fishing weights - a lead petticoat - you always had bad taste.
5.
Those who trespass against us - guilt is your only weapon - I was once afraid to die - but now I'm not attached to life - I was once afraid to die - but now. Are you afraid of how I've changed - Can you believe in me - I forgot to give thanks today. Joy of all who sorrow - lie cheat steal - but never borrow - enforcing your ideals like law - who are you - what's right what's wrong - if you force my hand again I'll cut it off. This is my acceptance speech - I accept the thing I cannot change - I am wise beyond the deepest graves - I am stronger than the oldest saints - I have only myself to thank. Those who seek serenity, forgiveness, trust, and sympathy: What if God isn't listening? Is this time you're wasting?

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Recorded in late summer of 2013 by Curtis Douglas.

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released March 9, 2015

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